You May Be In New York City If…
…your bag never weighs less than about fifty-three pounds. It is liable to contain any or all of the following items at any time: a pair of shoes, two full meals, an umbrella, a banana, a five pound bag of flour, a book or maybe two, enough chargers and headphone cords to tie up a prisoner, pepper spray, an actual pepper, keys for all the twenty-three locks in your life, a hat, a sweater, a large box of cookies for…