{"id":8472,"date":"2024-04-02T10:00:14","date_gmt":"2024-04-02T14:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8472"},"modified":"2024-03-28T10:38:42","modified_gmt":"2024-03-28T14:38:42","slug":"a-pox-on-tuesdays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8472","title":{"rendered":"A Pox On Tuesdays"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A plague on your head, oh Tuesday,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You reek like the sweat on my feet<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You suck my soul dry like a desert<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And at last, I admit defeat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve tried to be joyful, and like you,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve tried to count blessings like sheep,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve tried to just buck up and take you,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But every time, I fall in a heap.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019re worse than the long lines at Goodwill,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019re worse than a bleeding hangnail,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019re worse than the hair in my shower,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Each week, you\u2019re an epic fail.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not Monday, so I don\u2019t expect you,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not Friday, so I\u2019m not filled with glee,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just a dumb day that drags on forever,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Until five o\u2019clock sets us free.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A pox on your head, oh Tuesday,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">May you step on a lego and die,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Just leave me alone in my misery,<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While I sit in a corner and cry.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A plague on your head, oh Tuesday,\u00a0 You reek like the sweat on my feet You suck my soul dry like a desert And at last, I admit defeat. &nbsp; I\u2019ve tried to be joyful, and like you, I\u2019ve tried to count blessings like sheep, I\u2019ve tried to just buck up and take you, But every time, I fall in a heap. &nbsp; You\u2019re worse than the long lines at Goodwill, You\u2019re worse than a bleeding hangnail, You\u2019re worse than&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"btn btn-default\" href=\"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8472\"> Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6981,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[90],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/img_4321.jpg?fit=1769%2C1780&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8A8kG-2cE","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5609,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=5609","url_meta":{"origin":8472,"position":0},"title":"What It&#8217;s Like Working Rent-To-Own Customer Service","author":"Rachel","date":"January 11, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"This pastor was wicked and wouldn't even help his wife; he made her work and make stew until her legs looked like men's legs and he made her always wear skirts. The Bible says not to be wasteful so when I run out of laundry detergent I just throw in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Downtown adventures&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Downtown adventures","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=86"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/img_2355.jpg?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/img_2355.jpg?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/img_2355.jpg?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/img_2355.jpg?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/img_2355.jpg?fit=1200%2C901&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5734,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=5734","url_meta":{"origin":8472,"position":1},"title":"Day 8: Oreos","author":"Rachel","date":"February 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"When I was a kid, one of the men at church did a children\u2019s lesson using Oreos as the illustration. \u201cThese two cookies are like two people,\u201d he said, \u201cAnd the frosting between is the love that holds them together.\u201d I\u2019m not sure exactly what point he was trying to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Food&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Food","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=88"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/oreos-1350632_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/oreos-1350632_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/oreos-1350632_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/oreos-1350632_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/oreos-1350632_1920.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6893,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=6893","url_meta":{"origin":8472,"position":2},"title":"No Regrets","author":"Rachel","date":"October 25, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Earlier this year I wrote an article for Forever His Princess magazine, on living a life without regrets. I've decided to share it with you nice folks as well. Enjoy... \u00a0 Why did I wear that? When I was a little girl, I had a shirt I simply loved. It\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Musings&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/IMG_4924.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/IMG_4924.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/IMG_4924.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/IMG_4924.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/IMG_4924.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7631,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=7631","url_meta":{"origin":8472,"position":3},"title":"My Miracle Decade","author":"Rachel","date":"January 3, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"My decade began and ended with a miracle. Around the start of the decade I was living in Honduras, terribly burned out and sad from years of too much loneliness and a few too many griefs. I decided to ask God for the impossible, and asked Him to move us\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Brooklyn Tabernacle&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Brooklyn Tabernacle","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=511"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/img_4969.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/img_4969.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/img_4969.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/img_4969.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/img_4969.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8295,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8295","url_meta":{"origin":8472,"position":4},"title":"Bread Around the World","author":"Rachel","date":"January 16, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"See, I have this friend in Brooklyn who is my go-to for my food adventures and early last year we stumbled upon the brilliant idea of eating our way around the breads of the world, right here in New York City. The rules were simple: eat from as many different\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Downtown adventures&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Downtown adventures","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=86"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/IMG_5870-scaled.jpeg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/IMG_5870-scaled.jpeg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/IMG_5870-scaled.jpeg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/IMG_5870-scaled.jpeg?fit=900%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7060,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=7060","url_meta":{"origin":8472,"position":5},"title":"Snow Days In the South","author":"Rachel","date":"December 13, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Everyone loves to make fun of a southerner in a snowstorm, myself included. Last night as I drove 35 mph on perfectly clear roads behind some anxious little person, kind thoughts were not first and foremost in my head, to be honest. And of course, there are memes galore about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Downtown adventures&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Downtown adventures","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=86"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/img_7085.jpg?fit=1200%2C958&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/img_7085.jpg?fit=1200%2C958&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/img_7085.jpg?fit=1200%2C958&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/img_7085.jpg?fit=1200%2C958&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/img_7085.jpg?fit=1200%2C958&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8472"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8472\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8475,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8472\/revisions\/8475"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6981"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}