{"id":8331,"date":"2023-06-28T09:06:38","date_gmt":"2023-06-28T13:06:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8331"},"modified":"2023-06-28T09:06:39","modified_gmt":"2023-06-28T13:06:39","slug":"anti-bucket-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8331","title":{"rendered":"Anti-Bucket List"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I have the worst addiction to lists. Give me a blank google doc and a bunch of bullet points to fill and I\u2019m as happy as a clam. You know those people who would gladly make lists to organize their lists? That\u2019s me. I am those people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I also love resolutions and bucket lists. They help me keep my goals on track and to dream realistically- or sometimes wildly- about all the things I\u2019d like to accomplish. I have a google doc with all manner of bucket lists: my thirty-before-thirty list which I mostly completed before my big birthday, a list of resolutions for each year, like the one for 2020, \u201cLeave my house every day\u201d, which makes me laugh every time I see it, and of course lists of places to see. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I also have an impractical bucket list in which I went crazy without the restraints of time or reason. Do I want to herd sheep in Scotland? Onto the list it goes. Would I like to attend a Beach Boys concert, never mind I\u2019d need to time travel? This is the list for that. Live in an airstream and write, get published in Huff Post, have both a thigh gap and a cooking career at the same time (lol), be a ballet dancer, the list goes on. It\u2019s such fun, and you should definitely try it sometime. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the list I want to discuss today is my anti-bucket-list. All the things I\u2019d like to avoid forever. What kind of things, you ask? Oh, do let me elaborate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Do a tough mudder. Have you heard of those races where people have to military crawl through mud puddles under barbed wire, and other such ridiculous things? Yeah, I won\u2019t be doing that. <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=5075\" target=\"_blank\">I did a 5K one single time<\/a> and decided it was a horrible decision for me. The only race I could probably be prevailed upon to do is one where someone dangles a croissant a few feet in front of me while I run. Come to think of it, that\u2019s actually a brilliant idea for a race; anybody want to hop on that?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Be an annoying multi-level marketing salesperson. Much as I long to be the kind of person who leverages friendship to guilt-trip people into buying their overpriced goods, I still added this to my list. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Be in any mission board meeting. Or maybe be in any meeting ever. The M word holds ominous connotations for me, with visions of mission boards coming from their cushy American lives to sit in a circle and tell us what we were doing wrong, and to watch us with unblinking eyes as we cried awkwardly. At least, that\u2019s what my fifteen-year-old memory has clung on to, and I\u2019ll be happy to never, ever, ever, ever attend any mission board meeting ever again. Ever. (P.S. Shoutout to my Uncle David though, who was genuinely awesome on our mission board.)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Play in a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=4119\">volleyball tournament<\/a>. If you\u2019re a long-time reader you already know how much I enjoy making fun of the sporty Mennonites who gather to play in their volleyball tournaments and find their spouses. Even though I have some dear friends who have <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=7942\" target=\"_blank\">defected to the dark side<\/a> and love volleyball, at this point, I must maintain my stance because I have a reputation to uphold! Even if I grow fit and sporty someday (long shot, given my love of cake), I must always eschew it. Snowboarding is also on the list because I like to assign the same sort of standards of \u201ctrying-to-be-coolness\u201d to the snowboarders. And as an enneagram 4, my goal is obviously to always be as uncool as possible. Also, let\u2019s be honest, I don\u2019t like falling upon my bum. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Skydive. See aforementioned distaste for falling upon my bum. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Win an Olympic gold medal for curling. You\u2019ve seen the sport where the participants furiously scrub the ice as a little puck slowly glides down the middle. I think it\u2019s so bizarre as to be hilarious, and I\u2019d actually like to try it someday, given the miles of floors I\u2019ve swept in my lifetime. Surely that skill set would count toward something? Also, it doesn\u2019t seem to involve much falling upon one\u2019s bum. But although I\u2019d like to try it, I do not want to devote the years to become an Olympic medalist, so onto the list it goes. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Have an affair. Obvious, but hey, let\u2019s add it. Besides, I once heard a podcast where the couple was talking about affairs, and they said the first step to not having one is to realize that you, yes you, are capable of having one. Everyone is, even the aghast, \u201cI would never!\u201d people. We are all capable of atrocities, so let\u2019s recognize that and put it on the list. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Have a solo dinner with enemies from my past. Now, I am not the kind of person to wrack up a long list of foes and adversaries. But still, imagine sitting at a dinner table with all the people who have most wronged you (or whom you have most wronged!) for a long meal of chewy, dry meat. Doesn\u2019t that sound fun? <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Live in Times Square. Ah, Times Square, the delight of tourists and the bane of the locals. The place where newbies go to gawk at the insane lights and billboards and cheer on the street performers, and where New Yorkers avoid if at all possible, unless attending a Broadway show or in desperate need of some hot Krispy Kreme, and then we elbow our way through at breakneck speeds, muttering unspeakable things at the crowds under our breath. The place \u201cwhere the worst of humanity collects to poison this fair country.\u201d Ok, maybe that\u2019s Chicago, not Times Square, but it gives pretty hot competition to the title. Yes, it\u2019s a fascinating place which everyone should see once, but if your idea of NYC is Times Square, try again, honey. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Be a celebrity hair stylist\/manicurist\/assistant\/nanny, etc. Imagine getting to spend every day at the beck and call and whims of a diva who is used to getting every single thing she wants, and to never being told no. Yeah, I\u2019m gooooood. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>So there\u2019s a taste of my distastes for you. Now, let\u2019s hear from you. What is the thing which the mere thought of makes your arm hairs curl a little? The thing which is exactly the opposite of the type of human you\u2019re trying to be? Drop a comment and join the fun. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have the worst addiction to lists. Give me a blank google doc and a bunch of bullet points to fill and I\u2019m as happy as a clam. You know those people who would gladly make lists to organize their lists? That\u2019s me. I am those people. I also love resolutions and bucket lists. They help me keep my goals on track and to dream realistically- or sometimes wildly- about all the things I\u2019d like to accomplish. I have a&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"btn btn-default\" href=\"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8331\"> Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8410,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[91],"tags":[623,606,622,624],"class_list":["post-8331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-musings","tag-anti-bucket-list","tag-bucket-list","tag-listicle","tag-resolutions"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/img_0813-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1920&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8A8kG-2an","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8221,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8221","url_meta":{"origin":8331,"position":0},"title":"Thoughts on Thirty","author":"Rachel","date":"August 30, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"There isn't much to make you reevaluate all your choices and accomplishments and realize how very little you've done yet with your life like hitting another decade. From the wisdom of my upper twenties I scoffed at the thought of minding this birthday, but when it came around the bend,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Musings&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/img_0254.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/img_0254.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/img_0254.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/img_0254.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/img_0254.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6375,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=6375","url_meta":{"origin":8331,"position":1},"title":"How To Take a Secret Trip to Paris","author":"Rachel","date":"May 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"One.\u00a0Sit at your desk day after day bellyaching to travel to Europe. Put it on all your bucket lists and pin pictures on Pinterest of what you want to see. Decide to do it before turning thirty but doubt that it'll actually happen. Eventually feel like you're going to burst\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Five Things&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Five Things","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=87"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/img_4246.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/img_4246.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/img_4246.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/img_4246.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/img_4246.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5915,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=5915","url_meta":{"origin":8331,"position":2},"title":"Day 22: Countries Quiz","author":"Rachel","date":"February 22, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Question: are you any good at geography? A friend introduced me to this countries quiz some time ago, and the first time I took it, I did horribly. Embarrassingly, dreadfully awful. Determination set in, and I retook it over and over, dozens of times over the course of weeks, until\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Travel&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Travel","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=94"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-269633.jpg?fit=1132%2C750&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-269633.jpg?fit=1132%2C750&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-269633.jpg?fit=1132%2C750&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-269633.jpg?fit=1132%2C750&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-269633.jpg?fit=1132%2C750&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6300,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=6300","url_meta":{"origin":8331,"position":3},"title":"Charlie and the Dog, a Tale of Chaos and Scare-arrhea","author":"Rachel","date":"May 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Dearly beloved, sit down and I will tell you a story. Once upon a time, I lived in Honduras in a house made of adobe and clay tiles. The house was simply a long row of rooms side by side, with a porch on the back side, connecting all the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Downtown adventures&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Downtown adventures","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=86"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/IMG_0624.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/IMG_0624.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/IMG_0624.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/IMG_0624.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/IMG_0624.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8387,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8387","url_meta":{"origin":8331,"position":4},"title":"How to Become a Reader","author":"Rachel","date":"April 24, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"It is not uncommon for me to stumble across conversations where I hear people remark sadly, \"I wish I were a reader.\" Well, as someone who is a reader, although of a lesser variety than some hardy folks, I am happy to offer a few tips to go from non-reader\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Books&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=83"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/DSCF3445-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/DSCF3445-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/DSCF3445-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/DSCF3445-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/04\/DSCF3445-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5637,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=5637","url_meta":{"origin":8331,"position":5},"title":"Out With the Old, In With the New","author":"Rachel","date":"January 2, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"It's that time again- time to look back at the past year and remember what happened, and to make resolutions and plans for the upcoming year. I love remembering the previous year, and making lists of the good that happened, don't you? Let me start with the very beginning of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Five Things&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Five Things","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=87"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/IMG_9582.jpg?fit=1200%2C396&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/IMG_9582.jpg?fit=1200%2C396&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/IMG_9582.jpg?fit=1200%2C396&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/IMG_9582.jpg?fit=1200%2C396&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/IMG_9582.jpg?fit=1200%2C396&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8331","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=8331"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8331\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8414,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8331\/revisions\/8414"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=8331"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=8331"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=8331"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}