{"id":5797,"date":"2018-02-25T08:00:30","date_gmt":"2018-02-25T13:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=5797"},"modified":"2025-03-05T16:58:12","modified_gmt":"2025-03-05T21:58:12","slug":"day-12-ogden-nash","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=5797","title":{"rendered":"Day 25: Ogden Nash"},"content":{"rendered":"

I admit it, I love silly poetry. And there’s hardly anyone who does it better than Ogden Nash. Rhythm and meter fly out the window, and he twists words at his own will to force them to rhyme. And yet, it’s so clever!<\/p>\n

But really, he has no better introduction than to show you one of his pieces. Here we have his “Common Cold” poem, one of his more orderly ones, and one of my personal favorites. Enjoy.<\/p>\n

“Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
\nYou shall not sneer at me.
\nPick up your hat and stethoscope,
\nGo wash your mouth with laundry soap;
\nI contemplate a joy exquisite
\nIn not paying you for your visit.
\nI did not call you to be told
\nMy malady is a common cold.<\/p>\n

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
\nBy fever’s hot and scaly grip;
\nBy those two red redundant eyes
\nThat weep like woeful April skies;
\nBy racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
\nBy handkerchief after handkerchief;
\nThis cold you wave away as naught
\nIs the darndest cold man ever caught!<\/p>\n

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
\nHere is the genuine Cold Colossal;
\nThe Cold of which researchers dream,
\nThe Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
\nThis honored system humbly holds
\nThe Super-cold to end all colds;
\nThe Cold Crusading for Democracy;
\nThe F\u00fchrer of the Streptococcracy.<\/p>\n

Bacilli swarm within my portals
\nSuch as were ne’er conceived by mortals,
\nBut bred by scientists wise and hoary
\nIn some Olympic laboratory;
\nBacteria as large as mice,
\nWith feet of fire and heads of ice
\nWho never interrupt for slumber
\nTheir stamping elephantine rumba.<\/p>\n

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
\nAh, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
\nDon Juan was a budding gallant,
\nAnd Shakespeare’s plays show signs of talent;
\nThe Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
\nAnd your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
\nOh what a derision history holds
\nFor the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!”<\/p>\n

Isn’t it clever? His poetry doesn’t cease to delight me. Here is The Best of Ogden Nash<\/a><\/em>, if you want to read more.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

A year ago:\u00a0Lakelyn Danielle<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I admit it, I love silly poetry. And there’s hardly anyone who does it better than Ogden Nash. Rhythm and meter fly out the window, and he twists words at his own will to force them to rhyme. And yet, it’s so clever! But really, he has no better introduction than to show you one of his pieces. Here we have his “Common Cold” poem, one of his more orderly ones, and one of my personal favorites. Enjoy. “Go hang…<\/p>\n

Read More Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5848,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[83],"tags":[134,136],"class_list":["post-5797","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","tag-month-of-posting","tag-ogden-nash"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/img_2672.jpg?fit=1656%2C1242&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8A8kG-1vv","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":503,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=503","url_meta":{"origin":5797,"position":0},"title":"The Clean Plater","author":"Rachel","date":"May 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes Ogden Nash just says it so much better than I ever could. Case in point: \"Some singers sing of ladies' eyes, And some of ladies lips, Refined ones praise their ladylike ways, And coarse ones hymn their hips. The Oxford Book of English Verse Is lush with lyrics tender;\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Food"","block_context":{"text":"Food","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=88"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4576,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=4576","url_meta":{"origin":5797,"position":1},"title":"8 Tips For the Harried Introvert","author":"Rachel","date":"September 14, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"About every ten days or so, I ponder why on earth I'm so incredibly busy. I'll think I have a free week, but before I know it, every night except one has filled up, and my floors get crummy and my laundry piles up while time marches on and events\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Musings"","block_context":{"text":"Musings","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/img_1624.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/img_1624.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/img_1624.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/img_1624.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/img_1624.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5897,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=5897","url_meta":{"origin":5797,"position":2},"title":"My Book Challenge for 2017","author":"Rachel","date":"January 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I'd never done a book challenge before, but decided to try one last year. And in the process, I discovered something about myself- I don't like reading from someone else's list. I take a more fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants approach to reading, apparently. But nevertheless, it was a good challenge to do, because\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=83"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/img_2416.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/img_2416.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/img_2416.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/img_2416.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/img_2416.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":258,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=258","url_meta":{"origin":5797,"position":3},"title":"Book List 2015","author":"Rachel","date":"January 5, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Follow my blog with Bloglovin<\/a> \u00a0 In 2014 I purposed to read a book a week, and approximately did so, by the skin of my teeth. In 2015 I didn't set any specific goals, but largely because I read aloud so much to my school kids, \u00a0I managed to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Books"","block_context":{"text":"Books","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=83"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3374,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=3374","url_meta":{"origin":5797,"position":4},"title":"Making the Perfect Charcuterie Board","author":"Rachel","date":"July 14, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Ok, first I have to get something off my chest. What's pictured isn't a charcuterie board. Charcuterie means cold cooked meats, and this board has no meat on it at all, but\u00a0I'm going to insist on calling it a charcuterie board because I like that word, even if I'm always\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Food"","block_context":{"text":"Food","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=88"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9435-3534433196-1495140499371.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9435-3534433196-1495140499371.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9435-3534433196-1495140499371.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9435-3534433196-1495140499371.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9435-3534433196-1495140499371.jpg?fit=1200%2C794&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8465,"url":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=8465","url_meta":{"origin":5797,"position":5},"title":"Late Winter Cheer","author":"Rachel","date":"March 27, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear friend, March in North Carolina is a profusion of bursting spring and warm days and bare feet, and it\u2019s a lovely month. In New York, not so much. There are signs of life, such as the tiny little crocuses braving the wind, which I walk past every day on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Five Things"","block_context":{"text":"Five Things","link":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=87"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_8611.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_8611.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_8611.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_8611.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/IMG_8611.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5797","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5797"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5797\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8739,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5797\/revisions\/8739"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5848"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}