Why does the world not contain more deviled eggs? You know those Sunday evening meetings that happen sometimes when a random guest speaker or singing group comes through the area? Nobody really quite wants to attend, because half the time the music is bad or the presentation dull, but at least there’s food afterward to buoy one’s spirits. You know the spread too- bowls of popcorn and vegetable trays and cookies and (if you’re from my NC church) lots and lots of pickles and olives. Occasionally there will be a lovely tray of deviled eggs too, but there are never as many as people would like to eat, and if you’re toward the end of the food line, odds are you won’t get any. Why is this? Everyone loves deviled eggs, and they’re easy and cheap to make. Let us bring about reform, people!
Why are the majority of shoes, aside from sports shoes, uncomfortable? I really can’t understand this, as walking in one’s shoes is a generally accepted necessity of life. So why then, are shoes not made for walking? Either they pinch your toes or rub your heels or hurt your arches, unless you are lucky and have full on Gateshead Millennium Bridge arches like me. Or of course, you can buy awfully ugly and awfully comfortable ones *cough, Birkenstocks, cough* and walk in peace, but who wants to do that?
Why do some people not like dark chocolate? I shall never understand this. A dislike for coffee I can understand if I stretch my brain as far as it will go, but dark chocolate is delicious and that’s all there is to that. And yet, some people prefer the overly-sweet, barely-chocolate, milk version. How?
Who are the random people stalking my blog from all over the world? WordPress has this nifty little feature that lets you know what countries your readers are in, and I just wanna know, oh people from Vietnam and Mauritius and Germany, who are you? Greece, Costa Rica, Honduras… these I understand since I have friends and acquaintances there, but places like Papua New Guinea and Portugal make me terribly curious. I know the answer is probably something boring like bots, but if there are actual people behind these views, I wanna know!
Who invented car alarms and where can I find them? Last week there was a two or three day stretch where the van across the street blared intermittently, for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours, until my brain cells were fried and I was unable to concentrate on work and I put in my earbuds and listened to Broadway songs as loudly as I could bear to try to block them out. And still they blared. I finally called it in, and was told that my complaint would be resolved within ten days. And so I moved to Greenland. But really, whose idea were car alarms, and do they actually ever do any good and if so, shouldn’t they be reserved for Bugattis and Aston Martins and not rusty, dented, 15-passenger vans from 1998? I wanna know.
Bonus question: Will this year ever end? I would sincerely like to know.
A Year Ago:
Auditioning For the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (goodness gracious, it’s actually a year ago today that I got into the choir. I’m agog.)
Two Years Ago:
Three Years Ago:
Four Years Ago: