I’ve been meaning to write this post for dayyssss. So far I’ve managed to…

• Look through the photos from the choir Christmas party
• Google my name
• Apply to a random job I certainly won’t get
• Look up tall people jokes
• Look up short people jokes
• Read a post about celebrities wearing dresses over jeans
• Listen to Leslie Odom Jr’s Cheer Up Charlie
• Watch old videos of my dance class and of when I went to see the Brooklyn Tabernacle Singers in Charlotte years ago and of Lyn sitting on an air horn when we set up her office for her birthday
• Go spend a week at my sister’s house

I think it’s well established now that I deserve a gold medal in procrastination. I guess that’s my writing process- write a paragraph, eat a banana. Write another line, google some random thing nobody cares about. Erase the last line, look up free stock photos for a while. Save my draft, disappear for a week… Anyway, without further ado, here we go.

Dear New York City, I miss you I miss you I miss you. I miss long, grimy, crowded rides on your subways to get to work or church or literally anywhere, since everything I go to seems to be an hour away. I miss the cumin crusted lamb and spicy cabbage I sometimes order from the Szechuan place in my neighborhood. I miss never knowing what new adventure or crazy person awaits around the next corner, but also I miss the blocks I have traversed hundreds of times from my house to my train stop; the same homeless guy sits on the same corner, the same little cart sells the same delicious tamales, the same fishy smell emanates from my Chinese grocery store, and it’s safe and familiar. I miss my little routine of picking up coffee at the Starbucks by my train stop and sipping it on the train while I listen on repeat to the choir songs we are learning that week, just in case we sing them that day, as I head to church early in the morning. I miss taro milk buns and grapefruit-yogurt bubble tea from around the corner. I don’t miss my umbrella flipping in the gusty rain, but almost miss the sirens and the dirty streets by now- just give me another week or two on those. Sincerely, Homesick

Dear Zoom, I kinda love you and I kinda hate you and I completely don’t know what I’d do without you. Choir meetings, friend meetings, church ministry meetings- my days are pocked with zoom calls. Staticky voices and little squares of moose faces is the new normal. It’s weird, but I’m glad to have you. Sincerely, Millennial

Dear Eyeliner, I will master you, regardless of how many days I have to go about looking like a five-year-old did my makeup, and regardless if I have abnormally wrinkly eyelids. If being stuck at home isn’t a good time to figure you out, there will never be a good time. Sincerely, Smeared

Dear Family and Friends, your couches and beds have been my little refuge away from the storm at home, and I’m grateful for the long-standing hospitality. You keep on hosting, without complaint, even when I’ve officially been here twenty-six days longer than I intended now, and with no end in sight. Thank you for the coffee and borrowed clothes and Q-tips and all that. Sincerely, Leech

Dear Bangs, We had such a nice winter together. But now the question is, is this thing going to last, or should we start seeing other people? I can’t decide. Everyone is cutting quarantine bangs and regretting them, but I’m on the other side, thinking about letting you go. Will I wish for you back? Sincerely, Thinking-About-Sweaty-Summer-Foreheads

Dear North Carolina, Thank you for putting on the show of the decade this springtime. Your forests and parks and streets have burst to life since I’ve been here, in an ecstasy of colors such as I haven’t seen for years. I take long and frequent walks through the cool green, and it’s keeping me somewhat sane. Somewhat. Sincerely, Awed

Dear Bed of Mine, I know you wobble and shake in the most disconcerting way, and sometimes fall right off your legs if I scooch about too vigorously, which is a very surprising thing to have happen in the middle of the night. You aren’t even flat, which is one of the main things beds are supposed to be, so I think we can both agree that as far as beds go, you’re more of a Collins than a Darcy. Nonetheless, I look forward to our reunion with great anticipation. I plan to sleep for about 11 hours straight the first night, deal? Sincerely, Homebody

Dear Choir Fam, You have honestly kept me going the past month. Our frequent zoom calls are the highlight of my weeks, and seeing your faces and hearing your sweet words fills me with courage and a hope that someday this madness will all be over. Our first Sunday back together is going to be majorly epic and I am going to burst into tears, most likely multiple times, so consider this your warning. Sincerely, Can’t-Even-Sing-Anymore

Dear Closet, I feel very shallow about how often and how much I miss you and your contents. When, with a small sigh, I pull on the same tired dress from my very small suitcase once again, I am prone to think about all your favored articles and which ones I wish I could be wearing instead. Remember those exotic and breezy harem pants I bought at a Nepali shop last summer, and had to pack away for winter before I had worn them much? I bet it’s warm enough to wear them again some days. Remember my cheerful yellow sweater which I didn’t pack, and which would be perfect for this chilly, rainy evening? Remember my favorite brown leather boots of all times, which I pair with those giraffe socks that are exactly the right height, and which I can’t find a replacement for even though they’re getting threadbare? I know it’s silly, but when the world is falling down around my ears, I really wish I could wear all my favorite outfits. Sincerely, Maximalist

Dear Crowds, Wanna get back together? I had gotten quite accustomed to the anonymity of brushing elbows with a million strangers on the regular. Breaking up is hard to do. Sincerely, Done

A Year Ago:

Five Terrifying Things In New York City

Two Years Ago:

We Woke Up In Paris

Three Years Ago:

That Time I Won a Giveaway

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