{"id":6231,"date":"2018-04-05T08:00:05","date_gmt":"2018-04-05T12:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=6231"},"modified":"2018-04-05T08:50:24","modified_gmt":"2018-04-05T12:50:24","slug":"5-unhelpful-things-people-say-to-single-girls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=6231","title":{"rendered":"5 Unhelpful Things People Say to Older Single Girls"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why isn’t a great girl like you married?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Somebody please enlighten me to what on earth a person should reply to this comment, because I’ve never been able to figure it out. What is she supposed to say, “I’m just too intimidating and awesome for any man to handle?” Can we just acknowledge what an awkward position it puts the questionee in?<\/p>\n

Anything referencing being an old maid.<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Old Maid” is a dirty term, conjuring up images of knitting needles and desperation and tight knobs of hair on the napes of necks, stuck through with pencils. “Bachelor” doesn’t have nearly the same connotation, I don’t know why. A bachelor can be dashing and debonair and dapper, but call somebody an old maid and she’s relegated to a bony life in a wooden rocking chair, snapping at the children who dare run across her lawn. If a girl wants to call herself an old maid, fine and good, she has that right. But you shouldn’t ever do it for her.<\/p>\n

You’re really missing out; married life is awesome.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Okay, this is actually a gray area, because I do want my married friends to be happy in their marriages, and I want them to feel free to express that happiness to me. But you know, it’s also kind of nice to hear on occasion the things that you miss about being single, and don’t try to tell me there aren’t any. Telling a single girl that she should get married isn’t exactly helpful to her cause. If you really think she should get married, introduce her to your bachelor friends instead (with her consent of course). Love with shoes on, and all that jazz.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

But you know _____; as soon as she stopped looking, the right guy came along.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Give me a story like that, and I can give you three of girls who stopped looking time after time, and nothing changed. Girls who are accomplished and beautiful and not even a little bit desperate, who continue to be single, year after year. Also, let’s use a little common sense. How are you supposed to stop looking, in order for a man to come along? It’s like the song that says, “You don’t know you’re beautiful, that’s what makes you beautiful.” In telling the girl that, haven’t you just informed her that she’s beautiful, in essence making her ugly? It’s the same way with singlehood- you can’t stop looking or surrender or whatever term you want to use, just so the very thing you’re “not looking for” comes along.<\/p>\n

You’re just too picky.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. In essence, what you are saying by telling a girl this is that she should settle- that marriage is the ultimate thing to accomplish and that she should lower her standards to get there if that’s what it takes. Nopety nope nope.<\/p>\n

First of all, marriage is not the holy grail of life which should be achieved by any means possible. Also, I think people who are unhappily married are much more unhappy than singles who wish to be married someday, don’t you?<\/p>\n

If what you mean by this phrase is that you shouldn’t be looking only for a guy who is exactly 6’2″ with a sparkling smile who works in design and has African orphans in his profile pictures and who models sportswear on the side, then I agree with you, but I can assure you that the thirty-year-old single girls who hold such unrealistic ideals are few and far between. In my experience, specific looks and careers aren’t that important at that age. And as for compromising character ideals, why would you want any girl to do that?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bonus- I asked Instagram and my friends what they would say add to the list. Here are their contributions.<\/strong><\/p>\n

“‘But he’s so nice!’\u00a0<\/span>(So is half the world’s population, Aunt Jan. I can’t marry them all, can I?)”<\/span><\/p>\n

“God saves the best for last.”<\/p>\n

“You just need a good man to take care of you.”<\/p>\n

“I hate when people try to encourage girls with the promise of marriage, as if our lives have no meaning outside of marriage. As if it isn’t possible to live a fulfilling life as a single woman. Don’t promise a woman marriage when trying to encourage her. That’s too small. Tell her God will use her life for His glory. Single or not.”<\/p>\n

“You should get married, you’re starting to look…old.”<\/p>\n

“He’s single and you’re single and you should just get together so that you both don’t have to be lonely. I’m sure you’ll fall in love with each other eventually.”<\/p>\n

“Why don’t you get yourself a man?”<\/p>\n

“You’re so pretty. What’s wrong with the guys now days, they must be blind!”<\/p>\n

“Something to not say to a single girl at a wedding or when someone announces a new relationship: ‘You\u2019ll be next!'”<\/p>\n

“‘Someday you’ll find your other half.’ Excuse me, I’m all one piece right now.'”<\/p>\n

“When your older siblings get married and they’re all like, ‘Don’t you worry, you’ll be next!’ Um, I’m not worried, honey.”<\/p>\n

“Let Jesus be your boyfriend, He’s all you’ll ever need.” (Of course, not disagreeing with the latter part of that statement, but mashing those two concepts together seems a little hypocritical when usually coming from someone who is posting mushy Valentine’s day photos all over social media.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A Year Ago:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why I Started Blogging<\/a><\/p>\n

On Looking Forward To Summer<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why isn’t a great girl like you married? Somebody please enlighten me to what on earth a person should reply to this comment, because I’ve never been able to figure it out. What is she supposed to say, “I’m just too intimidating and awesome for any man to handle?” Can we just acknowledge what an awkward position it puts the questionee in? Anything referencing being an old maid. “Old Maid” is a dirty term, conjuring up images of knitting needles…<\/p>\n

Read More Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[87,91,92],"tags":[291],"class_list":["post-6231","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-five-things","category-musings","category-relationships","tag-single-life"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/img_1607.jpg?fit=1926%2C1192","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8A8kG-1Cv","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3033,"url":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=3033","url_meta":{"origin":6231,"position":0},"title":"Fine Wine Versus Plexus Slim","author":"Rachel","date":"April 12, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Aging. 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