{"id":611,"date":"2016-07-08T10:07:54","date_gmt":"2016-07-08T14:07:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cuppacoldwater.wordpress.com\/?p=611"},"modified":"2017-04-04T16:40:13","modified_gmt":"2017-04-04T20:40:13","slug":"my-life-plan-per-lyn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=611","title":{"rendered":"My Life Plan (per Lyn)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So, one day when I had nothing much to do, <a href=\"http:\/\/lynnraine.com\">Lyn<\/a> was thinking about her life plan, and I eagerly agreed to write it for her, as that is just the kind of thing I love. I made her a beautiful life, complete with living in Europe and being a travel writer, and having a curly headed little daughter and an architect husband. However, my imagination drove me to have her husband tragically die by falling from the top of one of the buildings he had designed. After she had groused about me killing her husband off after only six years, (what can I say, I wasn&#8217;t watching the dates very closely!) she decided to get me back by writing a life plan for me. So here it is, with a few minor edits. Now you know just what to expect out of me for the rest of my life.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:400;\">2016 Spend year getting people married off&#8230;and investing money to support life plan. Daydream about the day you kick Lyn out and have two rooms overlooking the square, and think of all the possibilities, including stalking Jacob with a spyglass. [Terrible idea, Lyn.]<\/span><\/p>\n<p>2017 Bid tearful goodbye to Lyn but dry tears immediately to begin knocking out wall between bedroom and sitting room. Work at night to keep Vicki [the lady down below] and husband from getting suspicious. Plant flower bed full (also at night) of tomatoes, cucumbers, mint and peppers. Begin corresponding with @iluvNYC [Seriously? He can&#8217;t even spell &#8220;love&#8221;!] clandestinely to chat about mutual desires to live in NYC.<\/p>\n<p>2018 Plan trip to Spain, Switzerland, Italy, France, England, Ireland, Germany and Austria with Tricia. Finish out rooms in the front as one huge closet containing clothes to sell on eBay. Landlord still does not suspect. Begin working 3 days a week at Carefree while spending the other two days shopping, sleeping in until 9 o\u2019clock, and eating croissants\/drinking espresso . Begin to like running, develop runner\u2019s calves.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight:400;\">2019 Take off three months to take an extended tour of Europe with Tricia. Dine with Lyn and architect in the <\/span><span style=\"font-weight:400;\">L&#8217;atelier De Joel Robuchon in Paris. Meet a Parisian businessman-friend of theirs who frequently travels to the US to oversee corporate offices in NYC. Receive job offer from him as personal secretary.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>2020 Accept job offer. Pack up 3 cats, [general public, please be informed that I am <em>not<\/em> a cat lady]\u00a020,000 books, a suitcase or two, sell off eBay closet entirely due to lack of space in Manhattan, and make the move. Cry with loneliness. Make friends with the engineer hired on the Tower 3 project and discover that he is a coffee snob. Visit all the snobberies in the city.<\/p>\n<p>2021 Establish new blog. Marry the engineer @iluvNYC and join forces with his dog, Harvey, and move into an apartment with a view of the Hudson after a charming NYC library wedding. Frequently hang out with Abby and her husband, who have started a ministry to the homeless in the Bronx. Become sponsor of Abby\u2019s new project rescuing trafficked kids.<\/p>\n<p>2022\u00a0<span style=\"font-weight:400;\">Get pregnant with honeymoon baby. Discover it\u2019s twins. [Honeymoon twins? Do you hate me or something?] Meet with <a href=\"http:\/\/cupofjo.com\">Cup of Jo<\/a> weekly\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"font-weight:400;\">to keep grounded on the ways of mothering in NYC. Travel to North Carolina for Philip\u2019s wedding and introduce all the people to le husband and baby bump.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>2023 Have babies. Cry more than usual. Discover kids are the single most frustrating and rewarding thing you could do. Consume vats of coffee.<\/p>\n<p>2024 Begin to write children\u2019s books. Become celebrated authoress.<\/p>\n<p>2025 Buy house in upstate NY where the summers are never hot, the winters beautifully frosted, and additionally design book nooks all throughout house; one for each family member. Enjoy summers on the lake. Travel to Spain every winter for several months and keep pet elephant along with Harvey, the 3 cats, the twins, and 20,000 books. Live in NYC every fall.<\/p>\n<p>2026 Apocalypse [She said she couldn&#8217;t think of any other way to end it. \ud83d\ude00 ]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, one day when I had nothing much to do, Lyn was thinking about her life plan, and I eagerly agreed to write it for her, as that is just the kind of thing I love. I made her a beautiful life, complete with living in Europe and being a travel writer, and having a curly headed little daughter and an architect husband. However, my imagination drove me to have her husband tragically die by falling from the top of&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"btn btn-default\" href=\"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=611\"> Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[89,90],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-guest-post","category-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8A8kG-9R","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7932,"url":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=7932","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":0},"title":"Nice People In Paris","author":"Rachel","date":"September 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I was cruising around my Google drive, as I do from time to time, and came across this little document I had made that time Lyn and I hied ourselves off to Paris for the best week of my life. People love to criticize the inhabitants of places like Paris\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Travel&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Travel","link":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=94"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_4303-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_4303-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_4303-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_4303-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_4303-scaled.jpeg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6424,"url":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=6424","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":1},"title":"The Knights in Dull Armor and the Unfortunate Snake","author":"Rachel","date":"May 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"It was a dark and stormy night. And as Abby and Lyn and I are wont to do on such nights, we decided to take a walk. We may or may not have done this previously, and ended up walking miles in the drenching rain, but I guess history shows\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Downtown adventures&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Downtown adventures","link":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=86"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/img_8622.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/img_8622.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/img_8622.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/img_8622.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/img_8622.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3408,"url":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=3408","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":2},"title":"Kitschy Apartment Tour","author":"Rachel","date":"May 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello all. A lot of people express interest in my house, maybe because they find the thought of living above a music store in a historic downtown almost as fascinating as I do. (Side note: I know the above photo of the town is over Christmas time, but that's when\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Decor&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Decor","link":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=85"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/IMG_9419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3671,"url":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=3671","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":3},"title":"That Time We Had &#8220;Free Facials&#8221; and Lived to Tell","author":"Rachel","date":"June 7, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\"So, what are we doing exactly?\" I asked Lyn. \"I'm really not sure myself,\" she replied, as we travelled the long road to our mysterious destination. It started like this: I heard whisperings that there was a random lady who wanted to give away free facials. She was trying to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Humor&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=90"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/pexels-photo-312839.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/pexels-photo-312839.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/pexels-photo-312839.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/pexels-photo-312839.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/pexels-photo-312839.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4027,"url":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=4027","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":4},"title":"Life On My Own","author":"Rachel","date":"July 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"My roommate Lyn is gone for the summer, and I am busy checking \"living alone\" off my 30-Before-30 list. If you are looking for a helpful guide to aid you in making the decision of whether to have roommates or not, I have written one up for you. So here\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Relationships&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Relationships","link":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=92"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/img_8419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/img_8419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/img_8419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/img_8419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/08\/img_8419.jpg?fit=1200%2C900&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":6419,"url":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?p=6419","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":5},"title":"Favorite Moments in Paris","author":"Rachel","date":"May 24, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I have found a new favorite travel activity. While in Paris, I stole Lyn's idea and created several running lists of memories. Feelings evoked, food we ate, extra pleasant people, that kind of thing. Even just a few short weeks later, I look back on it and realize I would\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Travel&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Travel","link":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/?cat=94"},"img":{"alt_text":"Sitting by the Seine in Paris","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSCF7884.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSCF7884.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSCF7884.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSCF7884.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSCF7884.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/611","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=611"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/611\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2941,"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/611\/revisions\/2941"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=611"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=611"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stripedpineapple.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=611"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}