Five More Questions to Which I May Never Have Answers

Five More Questions to Which I May Never Have Answers

Why does the world not contain more deviled eggs? You know those Sunday evening meetings that happen sometimes when a random guest speaker or singing group comes through the area? Nobody really quite wants to attend, because half the time the music is bad or the presentation dull, but at least there’s food afterward to buoy one’s spirits. You know the spread too- bowls of popcorn and vegetable trays and cookies and (if you’re from my NC church) lots and lots of pickles and olives. Occasionally there will be a lovely tray of deviled eggs too, but there are never as many as people would like to eat, and if you’re toward the end of the food line, odds are you won’t get any. Why is this? Everyone loves deviled eggs, and they’re easy and cheap to make. Let us bring about reform, people!

Why are the majority of shoes, aside from sports shoes, uncomfortable? I really can’t understand this, as walking in one’s shoes is a generally accepted necessity of life. So why then, are shoes not made for walking? Either they pinch your toes or rub your heels or hurt your arches, unless you are lucky and have full on Gateshead Millennium Bridge arches like me. Or of course, you can buy awfully ugly and awfully comfortable ones *cough, Birkenstocks, cough* and walk in peace, but who wants to do that?

Why do some people not like dark chocolate? I shall never understand this. A dislike for coffee I can understand if I stretch my brain as far as it will go, but dark chocolate is delicious and that’s all there is to that. And yet, some people prefer the overly-sweet, barely-chocolate, milk version. How?

Who are the random people stalking my blog from all over the world? WordPress has this nifty little feature that lets you know what countries your readers are in, and I just wanna know, oh people from Vietnam and Mauritius and Germany, who are you? Greece, Costa Rica, Honduras… these I understand since I have friends and acquaintances there, but places like Papua New Guinea and Portugal make me terribly curious. I know the answer is probably something boring like bots, but if there are actual people behind these views, I wanna know!

Who invented car alarms and where can I find them? Last week there was a two or three day stretch where the van across the street blared intermittently, for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours, until my brain cells were fried and I was unable to concentrate on work and I put in my earbuds and listened to Broadway songs as loudly as I could bear to try to block them out. And still they blared. I finally called it in, and was told that my complaint would be resolved within ten days. And so I moved to Greenland. But really, whose idea were car alarms, and do they actually ever do any good and if so, shouldn’t they be reserved for Bugattis and Aston Martins and not rusty, dented, 15-passenger vans from 1998? I wanna know.

Bonus question: Will this year ever end? I would sincerely like to know.

 

A Year Ago:

A New York City Birthday

Auditioning For the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (goodness gracious, it’s actually a year ago today that I got into the choir. I’m agog.)

Two Years Ago:

Little Letters: Birthday Edition

The Effortless French Look

Ratatouille

Three Years Ago:

Five Things Living in Honduras Made Me Finicky About

How to Use Hair Henna

Why Do People Like Birthdays?

Four Years Ago:

Birthday Special

How Gratitude Works

 

12 thoughts on “Five More Questions to Which I May Never Have Answers

  1. This is too good to resist. Confession: I’m from exotic Canada. Confession #2: I love, love, love white chocolate. And dark chocolate. And milk chocolate. I love it all, there being now law aaginst it, only providing it’s not healthified by being stuck full of fruits or nuts or toffee or something. If you want to gripe about something evil, gripe about that.

  2. Well, I’m a real live person (not a bot) and I’m reading from Thailand. Not even sure how I first found your blog, but I find your writing fun and refreshing, so I stayed.

  3. I’ve often wondered about the blog-readers-from-exotic-countries thing as well. If the country has a really cool-sounding name (like Montenegro or Guernsey) I’ll end up googling it and deciding that I must visit this amazing place I’ve never heard of. I get one view from Finland basically every time I post and I always wonder who my mysterious Finish reader is. I imagine it must be someone quite posh.

    Also, car alarms! I spent 5 weeks in NYC once and asked myself that question every night. Why, why, why were they invented? Have they ever successfully prevented a robbery? I highly doubt it…because everyone ignores car alarms. No one goes rushing over to prevent a break-in.

    Dark chocolate I can understand, because I used to love milk and hate dark although now it’s the opposite. Basically, if you eat too much sugar your body conditions itself to think low-sugar foods are gross.

    And I can’t comment on the eggs, since I never really liked them.

    The shoes though…my issue with shoes is the lack of cute shoes you can wear with socks. I can’t figure out how we as women consider ourselves liberated because we abolished corsets, when we also abolished socks. What am I supposed to do when I’m invited to a fancy party in the dead of winter, I want to know!

    Wow, I was just gonna comment on a few of these issues, and here I’ve talked about all of them. Haha. Great post!

  4. I came to the comments to vent about white chocolate and see Mia has beaten me to it. I don’t care, of course, that some people like to eat fake flavored sugar, but don’t do chocolate the disgrace of associating it with that white pasty stuff.

    1. Lol. Poor, disgraced, chocolate. White chocolate’s one redemption is when mixed with peppermint to make bark, or with raspberries in cheesecake. But I still think it shouldn’t be called chocolate.

  5. It is my theory that the people who bring small amounts of deviled eggs to events got carried away with sampling their creations and only brought what was left over.

    What about those people who like white chocolate? I don’t trust them.

    1. That is the most logical theory concerning deviled eggs that I have heard. Of course!

      And you’re right. White chocolate preferrers are on par with people who visit fancy delis and request a pound of sliced American cheese. We don’t trust those people.

  6. I have often wondered about car alarms and shoes. Build some beautiful AND comfortable ones, and you could be rich and famous and comfortable and cute all at the same time 🙂

    I really enjoy reading your posts! I’ve been reading almost every single one for the past 2 years or so from Poland 🙂

    1. I feel like if nobody has yet invented cute and comfortable shoes after 6,000 years, the odds aren’t great for me. 😀 But still, worth a try maybe!

      I’m glad you enjoy stopping by here, and now I know who is reading from Poland. Thank you!

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