Setting the Record Straight

Setting the Record Straight

There is a common misconception regarding many love songs and romantic books, and today, I’d like to set the record straight. When reading or listening to these, many people have misattributed who the writer was talking to or about, but it’s time the truth comes out. Let’s look at a few examples:

 

I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past [hours] have been a torment… I have fought against my better judgment, my family’s expectations… All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.”

While the uneducated may think these lines were spoken by Mr Darcy to Elizabeth, the little known fact is that he was actually speaking to his cup of afternoon coffee. Just examine your own emotions when that lovely steam from your own cup finally bathes your face with hope and you realize you’ll make it through the next four hours, and you know he couldn’t have meant anything else. How about another one…

 

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low

Only hate the road when you’re missing home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go.”

I bet you thought that was sung by a man who was desolate without his girl, but you couldn’t be more wrong. This heartbreaking song was actually written by a man who was going on a diet; sort of an ode to chocolate cake, if you will. Once your eyes have been opened to the truth, you’ll find the hidden meanings in so many songs and books that you’ve been taking for romances all this time. 

 

I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight,

Ed Sheeran sang as he opened his box of Friday night pizza after a particularly long week.

I’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation

And the only explanation I can find

Is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around

Your love’s put me at the top of the world

There is only one wish on my mind

When this day is through I hope that I will find

That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me

All I need will be mine if you are here.”

-All about Doritos, baby.

 

Return to me, oh my dear I’m so lonely

Hurry back, hurry back, oh my love hurry back I’m yours.

Lovely words written by Dean Martin as he regarded the dessert menu at his favorite cafe and realized what a terrible mistake it was to go on a Trim Healthy Mama diet.

 

“…Because you’re mine, I walk the line.”

Well known lyrics by our beloved Johnny Cash. But did you know he was writing about his virgin cocktails, and not about June Carter? I didn’t think so. 

 

You know I want you, it’s not a secret I try to hide…”

Penned as the author set foot in his favorite taco shop for the fifth time that week.

 

And one last one from a classic Shakespearean work, Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.

This lovely bit, often thought to be speaking of Juliet, was actually born out of Shakespeare’s first introduction to a classic American burger. As he took his first drippy, juicy, savory bite, he was unable to stop himself and broke into poem in the middle of the burger joint. His friends looked askance at him until they tried took their own bites, and once they did, the poem instantly became a classic. 

Do you know the true stories behind any more “love” songs or romances? Please drop a comment below and let me know; together we will shed light on this important issue.

 

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4 thoughts on “Setting the Record Straight

  1. “Lucky to be in Love with my best friend.”

    Contrary to popular belief, this phrase was actually coined by Jason Mraz as he walked the streets of Love, Saskatchewan, Book in hand and thoughts of lattes on his mind.

  2. Fantastic! I love the bit about Mr. Darcy and his coffee. I’ve always been so amused by that quote for some reason.

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