Browsed by
Category: Humor

The Evil Gummy Bears Got Me

The Evil Gummy Bears Got Me

It was a day just like any other day, fairly uneventful and commonplace. The rain fell from a gray sky and darkness came swiftly that winter night as I tucked myself into my apartment for an industrious evening at home. I had food to make for my church small group, a gift basket to assemble, furniture to rearrange, and I was happily plodding through my to-do list when the first ominous pangs struck. “Whatever, it’s just a few stomach cramps,”…

Read More Read More

Why I Bought Birkenstocks

Why I Bought Birkenstocks

As some of you may know, I have long had a tumultuous love/hate relationship with Birkenstocks, mainly veering over to the hate side. I know people buy them and then practically pass them on to their descendants because they’re so durable and they love them so much, but really, couldn’t a company make shoes that are both insanely comfortable AND somewhat beautiful, rather than looking like a huge board strapped to one’s foot? Is that really too much to ask?…

Read More Read More

A Guide for the Average Mennonite Who Wishes to be Less Average

A Guide for the Average Mennonite Who Wishes to be Less Average

Jobs to have besides working in the minibarn industry: Be a florist. Try interior design. Do mosaic tiling in kitchens. Be a cardiothoracic surgeon. Be a janitor for the cardiothoracic surgeon. Drive a school bus. Design hair bows to sell on Etsy. Write guidebooks for obscure places nobody has thought to review, such as the tiny little town of Mocksville, NC. Be a chef. Become world famous for your taco-making skills. Topics of conversation to discuss besides minibarns and volleyball:…

Read More Read More

Five Attractive Girls, and a Bonus List

Five Attractive Girls, and a Bonus List

The girl whose vanity is lined with hundreds of bottles of cosmetics. She has thirty different shades of foundation, and often wears about 5 at once. She wouldn’t dream of playing sports, as it might chip her fresh manicure, and she can’t venture beyond the end of the sidewalk because nature doesn’t work well with her high heels and suede skirts. She avoids babies who might spit up on her, uncouth people who wear Walmart fashions, and shade (gotta work…

Read More Read More

Five Attractive Guys

Five Attractive Guys

The guy who can’t imagine doing something as menial as his own housework. His mother packs his lunch and cleans his bathroom and washes his bed and all his dishes, because it has never crossed his mind that he could and should take care of himself. Sometimes this guy moves into his own house, and then he lives in a pit of grime and junk food, because he doesn’t ever think he should have to do something like wiping down a…

Read More Read More

Charlie and the Dog, a Tale of Chaos and Scare-arrhea

Charlie and the Dog, a Tale of Chaos and Scare-arrhea

Dearly beloved, sit down and I will tell you a story. Once upon a time, I lived in Honduras in a house made of adobe and clay tiles. The house was simply a long row of rooms side by side, with a porch on the back side, connecting all the rooms. The house also had two courtyards, separated by a wall and a door. While living there, we often had different stripes of young men come to stay with us…

Read More Read More

Questions to Which I May Never Have Answers

Questions to Which I May Never Have Answers

One. Why is it that seeing people sit on surfaces not meant for sitting on is endearing? Eating cereal while sitting cross legged on the kitchen floor, perching on top of the piano to chat with someone, lying on the hood of a car to star-gaze… Is it just me? Two. Why are octopuses such a trend right now? Creepy, smushy things, I can’t imagine decorating my home with them. Shudder. Three. How does Princess Kate do everything in those four inch heels? Does…

Read More Read More

What Being an Aunt is Actually Like

What Being an Aunt is Actually Like

I just wanted to show you, this is what people THINK being an aunt is like… …and this is what it’s actually like. True story. As I’ve told you, they come in batches in my family, and here we have the last three, Elliot, Caspian, and Francesca. I can hardly handle the cuteness, but I can also hardly handle holding them all at once, as evidenced by the blur as I hastily sat down to avoid dropping them. 😀 Being…

Read More Read More

Five Easy Ways To Make Friends on Social Media

Five Easy Ways To Make Friends on Social Media

Everyone loves to hate on social media, and while I definitely understand the negative aspects, I also think it is a really wonderful way to get to be friends with people you would never have met otherwise. Online etiquette is a tricky thing however and not something that is taught in school, so I wanted to share with you all some tips for the easiest ways to make friends online. 1. Politics. Politics is what bwings us togewah today. Discuss your…

Read More Read More

Day 26: Imagination

Day 26: Imagination

Perhaps I have an overactive imagination. Probably no proper and mature adult should make up as many stories as I do, but let me tell you, a little imagination makes life so colorful! I love taking walks and inventing characters to live in all the houses I pass, or making up elaborate fairy tales on the spot for the kiddos (which sometimes backfires when they want to hear them retold and I can’t remember), or as I told you earlier…

Read More Read More