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Category: Humor

What Men Will Never Understand

What Men Will Never Understand

This is obviously by no means a comprehensive, or even particularly accurate, list. Nevertheless, it’s fun to speculate and rant a little about these things, isn’t it? Ladies, tell me what you would add to the list- what you think men will never quite be able to get.   There is that sinking feeling of realizing, the very moment you get to work, that you really should have worn a slip, and you have static and you definitely can’t stand…

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Goodbye Philistine

Goodbye Philistine

Dear Friend,  You know how often people who break up have to have one last little fling before they end things for real? You know, you’ve broken up but you run into your ex by your bodega and he asks if you wanna get coffee and just catch up a little, and you say of course, and suddenly before you know what hit you, you have to break up all over again?   Well. I feel this is where we…

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Matrimony and a Wicked Mouse

Matrimony and a Wicked Mouse

It’s been a languid and sultry couple of days in New York City, the kind where you move slowly, sipping ice water and blowing a fan on your bare toes while you smile and look professional from the shoulders up for your zoom calls. Usually I don’t care for hot weather, but I’ve kind of been soaking it in these days and relishing my well-deserved shower every night. And did I mention I’m showering in my very own shower these…

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My Super Fun Day at the DMV

My Super Fun Day at the DMV

After nearly a year of living in New York, I thought it might be time to maybe do some adult things like changing my driver’s license to my NY address. Armed with determination and not much else, I made the initial foray into the DMV wilderness, only to promptly return home when I saw the lines were longer than the lines on pretzel day, and that I needed not one, but two, proofs of address, which I definitely did not…

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A Handel’s Messiah Train Wreck

A Handel’s Messiah Train Wreck

I didn’t grow up really celebrating Christmas- Thanksgiving was more our thing- so I don’t have a lot of nostalgic traditions around this holiday. However, we had one little tradition which I loved. Nearly every year we would find a free performance of Handel’s “Messiah” and pack ourselves into the balcony. We’d sit there with binoculars, (the homeschooler version of opera glasses, I guess) and pass them about, taking turns watching the faces in the choir and the orchestra with…

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It’s the Little Grievances That Take Character

It’s the Little Grievances That Take Character

I often think about what Judy said in Daddy-Long-Legs. “It isn’t the big troubles in life that require character. Anybody can rise to a crisis and face a crushing tragedy with courage, but to meet the petty hazards of the day with a laugh – I really think that requires spirit.” And as this Jonah week dragged on and on, I thought about it more than ever- it really does feel like there’s truth in it sometimes. Sunday was such…

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Setting the Record Straight

Setting the Record Straight

There is a common misconception regarding many love songs and romantic books, and today, I’d like to set the record straight. When reading or listening to these, many people have misattributed who the writer was talking to or about, but it’s time the truth comes out. Let’s look at a few examples:   “I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past [hours] have been a torment… I have fought against my better judgment, my…

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The Evil Gummy Bears Got Me

The Evil Gummy Bears Got Me

It was a day just like any other day, fairly uneventful and commonplace. The rain fell from a gray sky and darkness came swiftly that winter night as I tucked myself into my apartment for an industrious evening at home. I had food to make for my church small group, a gift basket to assemble, furniture to rearrange, and I was happily plodding through my to-do list when the first ominous pangs struck. “Whatever, it’s just a few stomach cramps,”…

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Why I Bought Birkenstocks

Why I Bought Birkenstocks

As some of you may know, I have long had a tumultuous love/hate relationship with Birkenstocks, mainly veering over to the hate side. I know people buy them and then practically pass them on to their descendants because they’re so durable and they love them so much, but really, couldn’t a company make shoes that are both insanely comfortable AND somewhat beautiful, rather than looking like a huge board strapped to one’s foot? Is that really too much to ask?…

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A Guide for the Average Mennonite Who Wishes to be Less Average

A Guide for the Average Mennonite Who Wishes to be Less Average

Jobs to have besides working in the minibarn industry: Be a florist. Try interior design. Do mosaic tiling in kitchens. Be a cardiothoracic surgeon. Be a janitor for the cardiothoracic surgeon. Drive a school bus. Design hair bows to sell on Etsy. Write guidebooks for obscure places nobody has thought to review, such as the tiny little town of Mocksville, NC. Be a chef. Become world famous for your taco-making skills. Topics of conversation to discuss besides minibarns and volleyball:…

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Five Attractive Girls, and a Bonus List

Five Attractive Girls, and a Bonus List

The girl whose vanity is lined with hundreds of bottles of cosmetics. She has thirty different shades of foundation, and often wears about 5 at once. She wouldn’t dream of playing sports, as it might chip her fresh manicure, and she can’t venture beyond the end of the sidewalk because nature doesn’t work well with her high heels and suede skirts. She avoids babies who might spit up on her, uncouth people who wear Walmart fashions, and shade (gotta work…

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Five Attractive Guys

Five Attractive Guys

The guy who can’t imagine doing something as menial as his own housework. His mother packs his lunch and cleans his bathroom and washes his bed and all his dishes, because it has never crossed his mind that he could and should take care of himself. Sometimes this guy moves into his own house, and then he lives in a pit of grime and junk food, because he doesn’t ever think he should have to do something like wiping down a…

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